When You Let it Go

Whether it’s a relationship that wronged you, a mistake, a choice, the opportunity of a lifetime sooner or later you will have to let it go.
I find this so powerful and intimidating. 

  • How could you possibly “just let it go?”
  • Are you a hoarder of your feelings?
  • Do you struggle to let go of things that bother you? 
  • Do you cling to your anger or emotions? 

You probably get in trouble with your feelings because you’re more vocal than others about things that bother you. The truth is, you don’t let go of things that bother you like you should because you truly care much about what other people think. You aim to please, and when the anger and the disappointment sets in, it begins to linger in your thoughts. You don’t let go not because you don’t want to, but because you feel that in order to get past something, it requires confrontation and discussing the matter. 

The thoughts consume you:

  • How could this situation have gone differently?
  • Is there anything else I could have said or done to make things right?
  • Am I wrong?
  • Do they even care?

Maybe life’s questions aren’t so cut and dry. Maybe the answers to your questions aren’t ones you want to hear.

But when you choose to let it go, your heart calms and the anger and the despair disappears. When you let whatever is tearing your heart go, you find comfort, you move on. 

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that life isn’t meant to be spent angry. We’re meant to spend our lives full of love. 

Try and find it in yourself to confront your anger, to look past it, and let it go. You’ll begin to find the peace amongst the chaos that’s within your life.

Whatever thing you think you can’t do without: alcohol, shopping, that number on a scale. The pills, the lies, the affair. The money, the success, the cutting. Whatever it is that you clutch onto with angry fists, that you grab like a lifeline, when you release that thing, when you let it go, that’s when you’ll hear the notes between the music. That’s when you’ll feel the groove, the rhythm you were made to feel, that you’ve covered over a thousand times with noise and motion and fear and all of the things. When you hear it, you’ll realize it sounds a lot like your own heart beat, the rhythm of God, of life, pumping in your chest, the most beautiful song you’ve heard.

-Shauna Niquest, Present Over Perfect

Stuck Somewhere Between Patience and Pity

I know you.

You scroll through social media this morning and see yet another friend of yours: graduated, engaged, married, pregnant, buying a house, a new car, a new purse, traveled somewhere new.
Impatience controls you. It controls your mood and your happiness. You begin to define your life by memorable moments constantly skipping over your life from one moment to the next to keep up with those around you. 

When you start to think about your life, you find that your focus isn’t even on you anymore. You don’t see your success and your own achievements. Your focus entirely shifts. You become obsessed with celebrating other people’s lives, their accomplishments. You find yourself wallowing in pity and self-doubt because you are constantly comparing yourself to someone else.

I know you because you’re just like me.

If patience is a virtue, it certainly isn’t one I’ve been blessed with. I have to choose every single day to be patient. I have to consciously choose to slow my world, my thoughts, and my actions down to enjoy every moment. I have to live everyday of my life stuck somewhere between patience and pity. I have to choose if I want to live my own life or chasing after someone else’s. I have to choose to give up my pity of where I think my life should be and in exchange live my life focusing on finding a balance of patience every day.

Growing up is difficult. We are thrown into the world with little to no direction and find ourselves comparing other’s as a way to define our life: To make sure we’re “on track” with everyone else we know. 

Stop comparing yourself. You have a beautiful life and you are a beautiful person. Have patience. Push the pity and the self-doubt aside and be bold in your life. Forge your own path for your life and celebrate every day and every accomplishment simply because it’s yours. Your life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s, it just has to be yours and one you find worth living. 

 

Present over Perfect

“God hasn’t invited us into a disorderly, unkempt life but into something holy and beautiful- as beautiful on the inside as the outside.” -1 Thessalonians 4:7
This is a bible verse from the first book of our monthly book club, Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, more Soulful Way of Living.
God sure did know I needed to read this book after the day I had yesterday. 

It can’t possibly already be November 1st, can it? Before yesterday, I hadn’t even carved a pumpkin. We always carve pumpkins as a family. We normally spend a night in October at the corn maze and we haven’t gone this year because it’s closed. We always go to the cornmaze as a family. I didn’t even make it to my mom’s for trick or treating this year. We always go trick or treating as a family

I was running through my never-ending to do list yesterday and was an absolute wreck because nothing was going the way I had wanted. After all, it was Halloween and I hadn’t even carved a pumpkin yet

Luckily, my super-hero husband swooped in to save me from myself. He said something along the lines of,”You can sit here and be angry all night over the day you’ve had, or we can go and enjoy the rest of the night together.”

My mind was blown. How lucky am I to share my heart with such a great man? He could see that I was going through the motions of my day even when I couldn’t. He helps me every single day be present and I didn’t even know it.

This year, it seems like Fall and the holidays have snuck up on me. I wasn’t prepared for yesterday and the awakening that my husband’s words brought to me. Everything snuck up on me probably because as of lately, I’ve been letting the “things” in my life consume me. Work is exhausting. I come home tired and stressed, and I haven’t been present for myself, for my husband, or for my family.

This book is the perfect beginning for our monthly reads because it’s an invitation for all of us to get to back to being present in our lives and for the people we love most. I know firsthand that it’s not going to be easy to set aside time for myself, but I know it will be so worth it.

God didn’t intend for us to lead messy, stressful lives, though sometimes we act like it. He intended for us to live holy, beautiful lives full of love. Today, try extra hard to be present for yourself. Do it for your kids, for your husband, for your friends, and for the things you enjoy most in life. 

Today, I challenge myself and I challenge you to be present over perfect